how a smile twists your understanding of someone simply because they can move some muscles that will completely disregard and cover an infinitely harder amount of pain that has accumulated over years
but you can smile and what would anyone ever know if you never told
that’s a lot of responsibility.
and a lot of trust.
I don’t know what it is and I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what word, what image, or where to begin to express any of this to you. I’m not sure if it’s a feeling or a thought or maybe a mixture that’s more exact than that. But I feel like puking up some specific expression to properly communicate what that fuck is going on in a relationship between my heart and my head (and it seems my stomach is getting the brunt of it?…) I’m at a loss and I wish I could be serious with someone because it isn’t easy but the moment I think that I can easily dismiss myself because i’m very used to it. Dismissing myself.
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