I definitely had friends and acquaintances I talked to every day at Riffel (my old school). And well, it’s been 2 whole day of classes. Other then the 4 people I told, none of them have bothered to message me or text me about why I left or that they would miss me.
I hated I stayed there any longer then I felt I should have. They made me feel like I belonged there. And I thought I was doing something selfish by moving.
Thank you for proving me wrong, I was just as invisible as I felt.
Past few days have proven to me either that I am bad at socializing, or everyone just doesn’t want to talk to me. Or even, a mix of both. (I’m guessing both). First day a girl named Amy talked to me in my music class. Not bad. All my classes were pretty lonely but I was happy to be able to focus on my work. Today, we were walking to the gym to get our pictures done in my 4th period class (Media Studies). A guy that in my class (and another class this semester) came up to me and stretched his hand out for a handshake, he said something along the lines of, “Hey, I’m ____” I forgot his name… I made nothing out of the conversation except saying my name. Anyways, lunch and break have been good. I’ve just been nommin’ on fries with Hayley, Riley, and Kaitlyn. Oh and Hayley would be the perfect match for Stephen, just sayin’.
I’m terrible at making friends.
Oh, and the guidance counsellor thinks I was severely bullied at my old school. Oh god. He’s always giving me this sympathetic look like, “How you holdin’ up, bud?”
And bitches can’t get over that my last name’s Swan.
“The clouds will part and the sky cracks open
And God himself will reach his fucking arm through
Just to push you down
Just to hold you down
Stuck in this hole with the shit and the piss
And it’s hard to believe it could come down to this
Back at the beginning
Sinking, spinning”—Nine Inch Nails (via learntoswimintheoceanoflife)
A person who has the potential to think independently but taking their morals and beliefs as religion and media teaches them, is as useless as a button that doesn’t button. It exists but it holds no purpose.