I’m kind of petrified of the thought I’m wasting my time in school. My mind is never there, and why should it have to be? I’ve honestly got better things to think about. Greater places to be. A world to see. But i’m penned up like a sheep and i’m afraid their behavior rubs off on me. I believe I know many interesting things, I’ve got more street marts than the average joe and I’ve been through hell and back through experience (home life/growing up). I know I’m smart. But I know it’s useless to fill my head with trivial bullshit that’s being thrown at me. I’ve gotta know it. Who ever said there was a definite knowledge that everyone should know? If I can choose what to eat, what to wear, what to think, what to say, shouldn’t I be able to choose what I want to know? I’m wasting my time. I’m honestly just staying there because I’m to cowardly to look like an idiot to peers and my parents. I’m at school every day, but in my head, I’m far off.
I’m just tired of my grades making me look like an idiot, when I’m simply apethetic towards all this loads of information I don’t care for. Don’t need. And certainly don’t want. Outdated textbooks written by bias terms. Loudmouth and ignorant folk. How much longer can I even do this.
basically about a 20 year old man stuck in a purgatory like world after being hit by a car, but accused of commiting suicide even though he waaaas suicidal and who has to figure out how to move on and eventually figures shit out
wow my story is hopefully better than i just set it up to be
It’s come to my attention that it’s becoming quite vital I quit what I’m doing. Quit this feeling. (that’s a terribly hopeless task to even think about overcoming). This persistent and restless jolt that tweaks my mind every 5 minutes.
"Go out, get away from here, it’s boring, they don’t understand you, leave, find somewhere else, don’t think of any consequences".
What I hate the most is if I find somewhere comfortable, if I find someone comfortable, I value them. Too much. I squeeze and embrace the hell out of what’s good, the good that enters my life chokes on the desperate grip I have around it. Eventually, these people leave. I can’t keep this going on. My heart is heavy. I’m not disappointed in the ones around me. I am my own let down.
I kind of wish i’d never happened… most of the time.
highly entirely completely pathetically irritated with the sun just one more division i can’t but i mistakenly overcome when my hands rot it won’t be that they died they gave in to the soul inside when my eyes roll back it won’t be that they’re lacking of life they tapped into the lifeless hole behind