“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.”—Stephen King (via aimeebell)
I don’t really know what to do with my life right now. Staying the weekend here but he had to go do some trainging for a job (which is super fucking awesome he’s finally getting a job!) but he left at 11:30. Tried my best to sleep in. Went pee and now I’m really greasy and hungry but I’m choosing to take refuge in his dark room in the basement… there’s water, 2 cookies, netflix, and computer… survival expectany: 20 moar minutes.
Having a bad day now feels kind of relieving. Having gone through whatever emotional despair I once found myself in, it has given me point of reference. I have bad days still; I still cry sometimes. But just knowing how everything used to be, if I had a bad day, it would turn into weeks and weeks of being low. But now, I can go to sleep on these days and be happy knowing I can leave this negativity in the night and wake up something new. I don’t have to carry a burden. Bad days now almost make me feel better knowing I no longer have to go through what I did. I can just feel bad and that’s totally okay.
It’s even better when I’m happy. It’s been a long time.